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According to Socrates, "Know Thyself."
"You were really carrying on quite a conversation with your dashboard this morning," said my friend. He explained that his car had been next to mine at a stoplight and he had watched me talking to myself for about two minutes before the light turned green. I had been practicing a speech and hadn't noticed him. As strange as it may look to others, I talk to myself a lot. I do it not only to practice speeches, but also to evaluate my thoughts, feelings and emotions before I speak or take actions.
Several years ago a friend taught me a technique that has greatly improved my leadership skills. By having "moments of awareness," described by Richard Ross in the Fifth Discipline Fieldbook, I better prepare for potentially difficult conversations with others. During these a "moment of awareness" exercises, which are most useful during times of stress, I often talk to myself. In a "moment of awareness," I stop and ask myself these questions: What am I doing, thinking, and feeling right now? What do I want to do right now? Will doing it now prevent me from achieving my ultimate goal later? What will I choose to do? After asking myself these questions, I often say out loud to myself what I plan to tell someone else later. Many times, after hearing it, I decide to either change it or not say it because, although I feel like saying it, it may prevent me from attaining my goals.
Regularly exercising "moments of awareness" and talking to myself in this way helps me be more productive and a better leader. Outstanding leaders know the importance of reflection, not just at the beginning or the end, but throughout the day. They know they must continually be mindful of what they are doing, thinking and feeling to choose the words and actions that will help them reach their objectives. They understand how easily they can get caught up in anger, frustration and their own self-image, and lose sight of their mission, values and goals.
What are you doing to become more aware of your actions, thoughts and feelings as you encounter stressful situations during the day? Are you pausing at key moments to carefully analyze how doing what you feel like doing might limit your ability to achieve your goals? How aware are you of your ability to choose how you will respond and react to difficult and challenging people and events?
This week, seek to be more self-aware as you lead your team or organization. Talk to yourself by using moments of awareness as a way to better understand yourself and stay focused on your goals. Learn to manage and control yourself to succeed in managing and leading others.
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