MIA CARMEL

Obviously written by a woman.

You started out well, but you lost credibility when you got to things like, "make him miss you sometimes". It conflicts with "don't play games". Lying so he likes you more isn't very girlfriend behavior.

Never spoil your man? Sounds like a double standard. If it takes two people to make a relationship work, don't make him do all of it. He deserves to be spoiled every once in a while too.

Keep him in your RADAR? Some guys date around, but that doesn't make it acceptable on anyone's part. If you intend to date someone, date them. Don't make them a backup, because that's rude to everyone involved. If the guy's not the backup, then you didn't have enough faith to believe that he would be good enough.

What the hell does colored contact lenses have to do with anything? Because he wants to have blue eyes instead of green, he isn't dating material? It's the same notion as a girl wearing makeup. Maybe he feels more confident with different eye color or he likes the way he looks. What a double standard.

First guest is just a tool.

I'd agree with second guest, but I disagree with their dislike of the making a man miss you. It's quite true that if you're always available we do begin to think that you're always be around. Once in a while, it's nice to not be able to hang out, I suppose. (Unless it's because they're hanging out with a male friend.) =)

nice list... theres a lot of it... just dont follow it all.. youll be sorry for it.

Seems like most repliers so far are male. Interesting. Well, no exception here. Anyway, I think the list for the most part was very well thought out, but I have to say I was very disappointed with "never spoil your man," when you afterwards state that "let him spoil you." I'd almost say I agree with the tone of guest 2, this single "lesson" ruins a lot! There were some other lessons I found a bit odd, at the very least they aren't very important.

But, in spite of lesson 67 (and I really mean in spite of! Remove it!), I don't think the tone of guest 2 is warranted. Most of the lessons are wise (and most of them would apply the other way around, I believe). And I'm very grateful for some of the items on the list, in particular "Not all men are dogs." My self-esteem isn't as good as it should be, and it's good to hear that in the end I don't have to be a dog, even though I'm a man... ;-)

Another good item was "don't be his therapist." I can have a tendency to be far too open, and it's good that those poor women I've poured my hart out for drew the line for themselves (it's a good thing for me, too, actually.) (On the last note, anyone have any idea how to know when I'm being too open?)

this is more like, "75 lessons that you must learn to be a dyke"

the main problem i have with this list is that its both condecending towards men, and also demeaning towards women. i'm not going to waste time pointing out why your list is so retarded, because i'm sure that people can see for themselves (Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later... what the f*** does that mean?"

all i'm going to say is this, step away from the keyboard, walk towards the kitchen and make me a d*** sandwhich, and lurk moar.

Is this list for real? I see some lonely nights for followers of this list....now get in the kitchen and make me a sammich!

Some of the list is OK, but some is simply not. As for the do not spoil your man, let him spoil you...he brings me flowers and does sweet things for me at random, not when he is in trouble. I like to do little things for him that mean a lot, for example, he thinks he's skinny...I bought him protein shakes. We saw caramel apples on TV, I never had them before and he mentioned he loves them, so I got some the next time I was at the grocery. So dont spoil each other, just do the little things that mean a lot =) As for not being your mans therapist...I agree however still take time to listen to whatever he has to say and you dont have to give him advise, but you can give him your thoughts. My fiance is bipolar, if I dont listen he would be deeply hurt. I just think this list could be edited, my fiance and I dont ever like to go have girl night or guy night, we do the several couples gets together nights. It's nice. We have fun and we're still together...we miss each other all day while at work...and no it's not "puppy love" we've been together for 5 years =)

what is up with number 28? Flee? More like knock that effer out and walk away..Never flee from anyone..I think you need to take this down. Some of these don't make sense.

I have to whole-heartedly agree with the opinion so far on #67. There are many things on this list I agree with and I wish more women took into account, but #67 isn't one of them.

I spoil my boyfriend AND he spoils me. Like guest #2 said, it takes two. Both people deserve to be treated the same, and this includes being spoiled. Men love attention too, even if us women like more of it ;)

I think a lot of women need to stop demanding that their men treat them like princesses without treating their men like a prince. Guys need to know that they're appreciated too!

Great list, except for the god part.. an imaginary friend isn't going to do anything for you :)

as a woman in a troubled relationship, I think a lot of these make perfect sense

I'm a male, let's get that out of the way first and foremost.

Second, do not bother commenting on what i say, as i'm not going to come back here and check the comments. It's a waste of your time.

Third, all i need to say is that this list, for the most part, is a piece. A piece of ****, that is.

Sure, some of the rules are good, healthy routines to follow.

By some, i mean an amount i can count on one hand. Your list is b*** s***. It's typical of an overly-dreamy, hopeless-romantic.

In summation, i'll leave you a little bit of advice, advice that you'll definitely learn from, advice that your readers should follow too.

Loving someone isn't just about being enamored with their good traits, it's about accepting their faults.

Well id say that if you really need to read and take all of this to heart you are an idiot. my advice, learn from experience and never regret, just move forward.

Wow, the fact that the male commenters are so bothered by this is very telling. The summation of the advice is to not let a man walk all over you and use you. Looks like these little boys can't be bothered to grow up and treat women with respect.

Have faith in God regarding your relationship, but don't let faith make you stupid. God does things decent and in order. really? i mean really???? LOL

A lot of these are from "He's Just Not That Into You" written by a man and a woman.

Why not date someone wearing colored contacts?

I was just surfing and came upon this article. I'm a woman and i agree with some and not with some. I was just trying to get some insight as far as what men truly think them being spoiled involves? Thank you

i am a woman and some of these r ok, but most are not. i've been a relationship with my boyfriend for four years now and we're doing just fine. we spoil each other...and i don't have to make him misss me...he does that on this own... this just makes men look bad.

oh ok some of these are good and dandy, but those are the ones that most women learn on their own. another thing is it says not to live your life for a man until you find what really makes you happy...well a lot of times love is what makes you happiest in life and woman who put career first *sometimes* regret it and lose the ones they love.
there is nothing wrong with doing a lot of the "bending" if he is happy that should make you happy, and if it is true than he will make sure that you try for your goals as well.
and this isnt some rant, i have been in an amazing relationship since i was a sophomore in high school...there was a little time in college where we tried to go for our goals, but we ended up together now im a relationship therapist and he is a dr in physics...oh and he misses me on his on he doesnt need me to just ignore him or whatever that bs was

What a s**ist diatribe.

I agree with 20. In a good relationship, people miss each other every second they are apart. Making someone "miss" you is just playing games. That is not fun.

Also, what's with the colored contacts? I'm assuming you (the author) had a bad experience with someone who wore colored contacts, and decided to throw that in for fun. If the reason is to avoid people who are insecure or want to change their appearance, then all men should stay away from women who dye their hair or wear makeup. Its the same kind of thing.

I felt like this was written as if everyone trying to make a relationship work is a 35 year old woman with 2 kids from a previous marriage.

Hey, I'm actually just a 17 year old guy with extremely limited relationship experience. I know this doesnt seem to qualify my to critique this article, but I cant resist. See if my critiques make sense to you (I generally agree with everything not listed here. It is overall a good list).

#43 and #31: "Dont ever make him feel like he is more important than you" and "Be the #1 person in your #1's life" contradict each other. I honestly think it can work either way.

As for #2, we all have faults. Faults are what make us human. The tone of number two starts to demonize those faults when they occur in "your man". Obviously, you should never make "excuses", but you can still EXCUSE or even come to LOVE even the potentially negative aspects of your partner. Same goes for #3.

#7: You can't generalize and say that slower is better. It depends on the type of relationship you are looking for, and the people who are involved. The speed of the relationship is a relative thing.

#8: I think that sometimes a significant other can be that thing that makes you truly happy. I have never felt happier than when with a partner.

#26: Sometimes we really ARE just confused. We can't read your mind, and please dont expect us to be able to. You will invariably be dissappointed. Communication is so much better here.

#35: Do you have any idea how traumatized I would be if a girl thought I was cheating on her when I wasnt and she broke up with me for it? This piece of advice tells the woman to assume that she is right in something that may be of VITAL importance. Of course, if you dont trust your man (for whatever reason), it may be a sign that it just isnt working out anymore. Establish completely open and honest communication early on to establish trust.

#52: Not everyone is whole. There are so many people who need someone else's love to make them whole. Dual independence in a relationship can work, but I think that co-dependence works best. If you are not whole, it is not always a problem that you can fix internally. The best medicine is PEOPLE. other people. like your partner. I think that if two broken people can mend each other, it is one of the most beautiful things on this earth.

O_O it cut my post...i lost it all. =( damn. nevermind

Some of these I don't completely agree with, but I do believe that the bulk of it is fairly accurate. I think "Guest 15."'s comment summed things up pretty well, actually.

haha! i totally agree with you 26. :)

Thanks for sharing your thoughts everyone. :)

This list is vapid and cynical. Only a handful of these make any sense, or would actually work.

If your guy is actually a decent guy, than you'd end up merely treating him like a worthless piece of shit. This list applies only to people who date idiots, which you should be cautious about in the FIRST place.

"Men only treat you the way you ALLOW them to treat you."

Yes, you're right. Abusers are not good at hiding their true colors at ALL, they aren't ever manipulative, they don't ever become worse - and if they do it's the woman's fault for "letting" him treat her that way, no?

Actually now that you mention it, domestic violence laws are silly and unneccessary seeing as men own their wives, and how can you abuse property?

this whole list is ridiculous. i am female, and this is generally embarrassing. girls are continually making these lists to make your relationship "better" or something. a true relationship grows out of trust and love.

plus, life is messy. there is no list of rules and regulations. grow up...live life...deal with the consequences.

besides, all these "tips" can be fixed through conversation. just talk to each other. seems to have worked for me. and playing games is tiring...it's nice to have a guy you can genuinely talk to without double checking every word that comes out of your mouth.

I honestly didn't think these were all that bad. Sure, some of the items are questionable (Colored contacts, etc) I won't deny that.

Obviously, you should be yourself and not depend on a check-list, but a lot of these are good little insights that you can incorporate into the way you view a relationship. None of them are detrimental.

And yes, if you spend too much time with your man you need to step back and "let him miss you". That's part of a healthy relationship- it's not playing games, it's stepping back and giving yourself and your man space. There is nothing wrong with that. (Of course, maybe some other people here are thinking of just up and leaving without saying anything for weeks on end- THAT is wrong. But taking a few days off and spending them away from your significant other- nothing wrong.)

Traditional roles show a man spoiling a woman and not vice-versa. True, we're in a different time now. After having my fair share of relationships where I HAVE spoiled the man instead of the other way around, I find this tip useful. Yes, let him spoil me. I don't need to be dumping money left and right on a man.

Ultimately, if you didn't get anything out of this list, fine- But keep in mind that other people might find it useful.

I see nothing wrong with the list.

Not a bad list at all...
But, I must agree with most male respondents that the list is definetly bias...
Just remember this...
It's easy to love someone because of their good qualities and when things are going good...It's hard to love someone inspite of their faults and when things are going badly..The one who is there for you when things are all screwed up is the one who REALLY LOVES YOU!!!!

Typical feminist b*ll s**t. There is a reason men have balls you know, so stop trying to emasculate them. It sounds like our dear blogger has had some man trouble. Are all these lessons written from first hand experience? If so baby cakes it might be time to find a decent woman and adopt a few cats.

Quite possibly the most condescending list I have ever had the displeasure of reading. Any woman who follows this list will, like our dear blogger here, live a very sad, lonely life.

Men aren't perfect and judging by this hackneyed masturbatory miscarriage of a list it's more than obvious that women aren't either.

To: Guest 33 and Guest 34

re: our dear blogger

AWWWWWWW....
YOU TWO ARE A BUNCH OF ROTTEN PUSSIES...
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR POSTING YOUR COMMENTS! ^_^

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I am a woman first off, and actually I totally agree with the guys. The list is condescending towards men, and reads like fortune cookie advice.
Kind of like some teenage girl wrote it.

You might be able to pull somthing useful out of it, but most of it is wishy washy crap.