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20 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity |
- At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
- Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
- Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
- Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."
- Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
- In the memo field of all your checks, write "For Smuggling Diamonds"
- Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance With the Prophecy."
- Don't use any punctuation.
- As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
- Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat with a serious face.
- Specify that your drive-through order is "To Go."
- Sing along at the opera.
- Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
- Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
- Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
- Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.
- When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I WON! I WON!"
- When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're LOOSE!!!"
- Tell your children over dinner... "Due to the Economy, We Are Going to Have to Let One of You Go."
- And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity...... Send your friends this joke to brighten up their day!
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